I thought I’d kick off AAM by celebrating one of my achievements from this year.
I passed my driving test. It took two years and four attempts but I finally did it. Hopefully it will be the last time I have to drive.
I’m a good driver but I do not feel like a safe driver. It’s all well and good being able to parallel park like a pro but not realising that a huge truck is heading straight towards you is a massive problem.
Other reasons I should not be trusted include:
- An inability to detect when I’m drifting towards the centre line/into a drain
- No ability to visualise distances or put them in context
- Difficulties in understanding or predicting other drivers’ actions
- A complete disregard for my personal safety
- A rigid reliance on rules and sticking to procedures even if a situation suddenly changes
- A general lack of awareness
Needless to say I am not a natural driver. It’s a miracle that my instructor didn’t give up on me. He suspected I was too clever to do something as ‘simple’ as driving. On the day of that final test – a few weeks after I received my official diagnosis – I explained that, however much I tried, my autism was always going to make this an uphill battle.
He felt pretty bad about all the times he’d been annoyed by my seeming incompetence but he tried really hard to explain things to me in a different way. When we got to the test centre, he warned me that my examiner was particularly harsh. I knew he didn’t think I was going to pass. I didn’t think I was going to pass either.
In a weird way that helped me to relax and somehow I did alright. If you’re struggling with driving or you’re scared to learn, take heart. If I can do it so can you.
Wired for Autism 